Santa Cruz, California, October 28th, 2014

Santa Cruz, California, October 28th, 2014

Friday, February 22, 2013

After the butterflies leave...

I don't usually post back to back, but...

This is Becky.

I just read Becky Doughty's blog post "I love you". You can find it here.

I encourage every married person to read this, then store it up it your heart for those days when life is dull and you think the romance has died.

You know what? He could have, and by all accounts, this guy SHOULD HAVE DIED. 

Kevin Doughty
But God was not done with Kevin, not with Becky AND Kevin and not with ANY of you.

In June, John and I will celebrate 24 years of marriage, which in this world, is a grand achievement. 

If I knew on June 17th, 1989, what I know now?

I'd have gotten married June 16th, just to have one more day with him.

Marriage is WORK, it can be more painful than you thought possible. And it can be all you have to hang on to when the impossible hits and you know, you KNOW that your spouse has your back and will go down fighting for you.

I've said this before, marriage has seasons.

 Please, please, PLEASE give up on the idea that the "falling in love" butterflies are meant to last for all time.

You know what comes after the butterflies leave? 
The constant, solid, immovable promise that you will grow old and comfortable and content with this person.
That at the end of every day, the face they want to see smiling at them is yours. 
The cup of tea or coffee made just the way you like it. 
The wink across a crowded room, meant only for you. 
The certain laugh that sets you off too.
The secret jokes.
The spot on your shoulder that his hands know to go to.
The look when one of the kids does something exactly the way one of you do it.

The simple things, the difficult things.  



On April 1st, a new blog goes up. "Married...With Fiction".
Where are all the happy marriages in Christian fiction?   
We aim to find out.
How do I write a killer query? Come and ask!


  1. Aww, love this, Jenn! Very encouraging. A cup of tea just the way I like it? I suppose that's why I keep David around. ;-)

    1. Thank you Gwen. I keep John around for the perfect Downton Abbey watching partner. Or not. ;)

  2. Becky and Kevin have such an amazing story to tell. So thankful they are willing to share it with us. Yes...that coffee, just the way I like it, is a nice perk! I was just thinking today how nice it is to snuggle w/someone at night (esp in a cold house!). Looking forward to the blog!

    1. Oh my word, isn't a warm snuggle the best? Okay, sorry, family show...

  3. Love it, Jennifer! Thank you for sharing our story, too. You're so right about the wonderful things that come AFTER sticking it out. My husband knows my love language is a perfectly brewed cup of coffee in one of my cobalt blue glass mugs. But he didn't know it until AFTER we'd been through hell and back. It isn't about the coffee, though, it's about listening...and really HEARING what the other person is saying. It's about laying down myself to raise the other up, even in the smallest details, like coffee in a blue mug.

    Love, love, love.

    1. You two are SUCH an example of coming through the fire and being lights in the darkness.

  4. I don't know how you and everyone else working on the "Married...With Fiction" blog would feel about this, but have y'all asked Wendy and the others if it'd be okay to do a guest blog on the Books and Such blog?

    Off topic, I also wanted to let you know, Jennifer, that there is currently a sale going on at Amazon for some "Krazy Kat" book collections. Your entry in Rachels' blog the other day at Books and Such reminded me of George Herrimans' style, the way he uses language itself as a character in "Krazy Kat," and I think you'd really enjoy his hilarity (personally, I rank him right next to Mark Twain).

    There's two volumes for six US dollars (not sure what that works out to in the exchange rate to Canadian dollars), "A Kat a' Lilt With Song," and "Krazy & Ignatz: Komplete 1933-1934". They are part of the promotion Amazon has going on where shipping is free for orders over twenty-five US dollars (you might want to see if its' the same for Canadian shipping), so I'd also suggest getting one of the full-color volumes, such as "Krazy and Ignatz 1939-1940: A Brick Stuffed With Moom-bins", or "Krazy and Ignatz 1941-1942: A Ragout of Raspberries", which includes an essay on his use of language.

    The full-color volumes are a bit more expensive, but purchasing one of those with the two volumes that are six US dollars each allows for free shipping (in the US at least, not sure about Canada), and I'd say that the full-color volumes really display more of the creative wonder of his work.

  5. Hi Larry, wow, I'll check these books out, thankyou!!

    We could ask her, we'll see what happens. Thanks for thinking of us.

  6. Well, I don't do old (Bahahaha!) or comfortable, but I'm pretty happy.

    So, I hope, is Barbara.

  7. Yes you're OLD, boy, really really ancient! Like, Andrewlithic. Although, I should shut up since you're only 2 years older than me.
    And nooooooo, comfortable ain't on your radar.
    Happy? I'd say.

    Thanks for the visit, much, much , much older brother.