Santa Cruz, California, October 28th, 2014

Santa Cruz, California, October 28th, 2014

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Lindsay Harrel--Guest Post



My Greatest Adventure: Loving a Lawyer:
By: Lindsay Harrel

First, just wanna say thanks to Jennifer for asking me to guest post. Several months ago, I started seeing this hilarious blogger popping up on several different sites I frequented. On one such site, I saw that she was making a trek through the southwest. I mentioned that I lived in Phoenix and the rest, as they say, is history.

Jennifer and I got the chance to get together this summer (yes, she chose to come when it was BLAZING HOT). We had a great time sharing our stories and our hearts at a Starbucks for several hours. Love this lady! She’s gonna do great things for God with her stories.

***

I’m not a *super* adventurous person. I kind of like to “play it safe.” I like things to be in order. I like to keep a schedule.

To me, adventure is scary, but it has great results, great rewards.

Sometimes, adventure is a one-time event, a trip, something that’s over by a specified date.

But other times, it’s a continuous thing. A constant laying down of security, a battle you face over and over again.

So what’s my greatest adventure?

Well, as you can tell by the title, it’s loving a lawyer.

My husband and I got married when we were 21 (me) and 22 (him). We’d both finished our undergraduate programs, but Mike was taking the LSAT exam when we were engaged. So I went into this marriage knowing he wanted to be a lawyer. And knowing we’d have to get through his law school together.

© Grafphotogpaher | Stock Free Images
One of my biggest fears going into marriage was that my husband wouldn’t have enough time for me, especially since he wanted to be in a profession that is so demanding. Being an attorney takes all of someone. It’s one of those jobs that you can never feel caught up on, and that you never can stop thinking about, even when you’re home.

I knew this, yes. But there’s a difference between knowing it and living it out.

His first year of law school (which started about nine months after we got married), we saw each other for fifteen minutes a day. Dinner time. That was it. I’d work all day, he’d go to school all day, and then he’d study at night.

Then, after graduation, he got a job. (For which I’m so thankful! Seriously.) He’s a government lawyer, so he doesn’t work nearly the hours someone would work at a private firm.  But still, there have been so many times he’s had to work late. Times when I missed him so much and just wanted ten minutes together.

But God’s challenged me lately with something.

I’m supposed to be Mike’s helpmate. That means that my first job in life, after following God’s will, is to help my husband with his mission. I’m supposed to help make him successful. To make his life easier if I can.

I’m not supposed to complain and make him feel guilty when he comes home late for the hundredth time because he had a brief that was due to the court.

I’m not supposed to expect him to take off days on a whim to hang out with me, especially if he’s got a trial calendar approaching.

I’m not supposed to sigh in frustration when he starts talking about work.

Instead, I should love him. Respect him. Remember that in many ways, he’s doing all of this to support me. So that I feel safe. In fact, working hard at his job is one way my husband serves me and shows me he loves me. (And let me just say, my husband shows me this in other ways too. He’s really generous and sweet to me.)

I’m sure this will become even more difficult to remember when I’ve got kids and need a break and he’s not able to help at that moment.

And I know that if it ever became a big enough issue, I have an open door to address it with him. I can talk to him about anything.

But like I said, God’s challenged me about my attitude. I love my husband, respect the job he does and who he is.

And isn’t every adventure a challenge, really?

A challenge that shapes and changes you.

A challenge that makes you better.

The chance to love a lawyer—and not just any lawyer, but Mike Harrel—is an adventure I never deserved, but an adventure I hope to live up to, with God’s help.

Your Turn: Do you sometimes find it hard to look at the effect that attitude can have on your circumstances? What has been your greatest adventure?

Since the age of six, when she wrote the riveting tale “How to Eat Mud Pie,” Lindsay Harrel has passionately engaged the written word as a reader, writer, and editor. She holds a B.A. in Journalism and Mass Communication and an M.A. in English. In her current day job as a curriculum editor for a local university, Lindsay helps others improve their work and hones her skills for her night job—writing inspirational contemporary fiction. Lindsay lives in Phoenix, Arizona, with her husband of five years and two golden retriever puppies in serious need of training.

Twitter: @LindsayHarrel:

14 comments:

  1. Good post, Lindsay!

    Yes, the adventure of everyday living is sometimes the most adventurous of all!

    Okay...flash of insight!!!

    As I was typing the above sentence I saw, for the first time, the word "advent" in "adventure."

    Advent means coming.

    So...it makes sense that you've found your greatest ADVENTure in coming alongside your spouse...

    Blessings to you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Love that, Joe! Thanks for pointing it out. :)

      Delete
  2. I loved this post, Lindsay! As you know, I'm also married to a lawyer. We married at the end of his 2nd year of law school (right before exams! Brilliant!). It's never been easy work hours for us, which does make it hard when you have small kiddos. But I've seen the Lord use my hubby in so many ways to touch others for Christ--from his respectfulness in the courtroom to his direction/guidance in law students' lives. He just started a new job, and I'm praying God will continue to use his mind and abilities to reach even more for Him.

    Praying for you on this adventure! I know I complained plenty when my kids were all small and he'd forget to call or get home late. I wish I'd been more careful about my attitude then. However, I think the name of the game was "survival" at that time! I think the key is letting your hubby AND your kids know that you want to spend time w/your spouse more than anything. Even if you don't get all the time together that you want! It's a great adventure!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's great advice, Heather. I really appreciate it, especially since you're ahead of me in this adventure. :)

      Delete
  3. Thanks Lindsay! You are so right about being a helpmate. My husband travels a lot for his work with World Renew. The kids and I remember pray for his work, and remember all the people he is helping. And working in those moment, even just the short dinner meal, or a five minute skype is so important:)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm lucky my husband doesn't travel a whole lot for his job. I tend to get waaaaay clingy when I don't even get to see him. Great job taking advantage of those short but precious moments!

      Delete
  4. Okay, let's get the doctor versus lawyer jokes going...
    I married a doctor.
    This, after using the "Never" word, as in, "I would never marry a doctor" -- and then, for good measure, also saying, "I would never marry anyone in the military."
    You got it: My husband was a physician for good ol' Uncle Sam for many, many years.
    And I was the civilian along for the ride.
    Like you, I had a lot to learn. A lot to unlearn. It was all about attitude. All about being who I needed to be. Changing.
    It's not about getting out of a situation, or changing my circumstances ... it's about becoming the person I needed to be so that I could love my husband in the right way.
    Great post, Lindsay.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beth, what a great perspective. I'm honestly so glad my husband isn't in the military. Isn't that horrible of me? It's because it would inconvenience ME. I can be so self-centered. It's soooo easy to forget that a marriage is about two people coming together to make our dreams come true...but those dreams don't always look like they did before we married.

      And I still need to change plenty. And like I said, I'm expecting it to be harder, and even more of a test, when we have kids. I'm praying now for patience and understanding, because my husband IS doing what he's supposed to be doing. And I'm so proud of him for that.

      Delete
  5. Sharing our fellows with their careers can be tough. Early in our marriage, when Gwynly was a new teacher, he spent his days at school and his evenings preparing lesson plans. I often felt left out or even jealous. (Yes, it's possible to feel envious of a classroom full of teens.)

    Gwynly's a seasoned teacher now and doesn't have to devote nearly as much of his personal time to preparation, but he often comes home tired and talked out. I have to remember that he gave his all to make chemistry interesting for some 130 students and is ready to rest. It isn't easy for me, who's been home alone all day with only our cats for company, to wait for Gwynly to recharge before I bombard him with all the things I've saved up to tell him, but that's what I try to do--on my good days anyhow. =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I've learned to let my husband recharge when he gets home too. But I can imagine this will be more difficult when we have kids, especially if I'm a SAHM who's only talked to little ones all day... hehe.

      Delete
  6. I married an alien. It's OK, she's got her green-card. While studying at Bible College in Switzerland twenty-seven years ago, I met my wife on a singing trip to Denmark. We slept at the church, but had our meals at the beach house my wife shared with four others. It's been an adventure since the days of our train-trip romance, bi-lingual wedding and immigration to the United States. After twenty-five years of marriage, we're still on an exciting trip.

    Thanks for the post, Lindsay!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bible College in Switzerland? What a deal! How'd you pull that off? ;-)

      Delete
  7. That's such a cool story, PJ! Thanks for sharing. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hi guys!!! This is a great post Lindsay, thank you SO MUCH!!!

    I'm here in Sucre, Bolivia, at 9500 feet. I'll check in when I can.

    Jennifer

    ReplyDelete