Santa Cruz, California, October 28th, 2014

Santa Cruz, California, October 28th, 2014

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Do an update...


Quite a few people we know are going through very difficult circumstances. 
One of the families from #4's winter hockey team (as opposed to spring hockey team) is dealing with cancer. He's a tough guy, but I pray for them often. Who wouldn't?

Some are dealing with addictions, and no matter what, DO NOT EVER tell their loved ones to pray harder. Just tell those family members who are watching a loved one implode that you will stand beside them as best you can. 

Some are dealing with varying levels of incurable pain. I can relate to that. All too well.

But one thing I did NOT anticipate has hit me hard enough...

That I'm actually scared. 

Now, followers of Christ aren't supposed to succumb to fear. We're not to hang back from battle, but to run IN to the fray. To fight hard because we know our King is beside us, and we know He will win.

But...I realized something this past week.

I have lost something very precious to me. 

And I cannot simply find a new one.

I have had this treasure almost my entire life. It is part of what makes me, me. No, it's not the most amazing or powerful or stunning, but it's mine, and I've been told I do all right on occasion. And as my friend Suzanne pointed out, it is how I worship.

Since my fall in January, the one in which my snapped neck backwards?

I have lost my singing voice.

And for a person who sang the highest of the high notes? Who was happiest in the key of F? Who sang the Hallelujah Chorus for fun?

And until I see a doctor or two, I feel like part of me is trapped.

Most importantly, I need to give this over to God. And wait on Him.

What else can I do?

Update: I see my doctor next Tuesday. 
I sure hope he sends me to an ENT.
That's 'ear, nose and throat' specialist. Not a big talking tree. Although, that would be kinda cool.


  1. Praying for you, Jennifer. It sounds like you have a passion for singing. Are you able to sing in a different key, or just none at all? I know when I was sick over the last few weeks, my heart went out to those who never recover. I wondered if I would be one of those? Would I recover? I did. But now, I can empathize with those who won't. I've been given a glimpse, and God can use me.

  2. I can't sing in a different key, and my speaking voice wears out after 20 minutes. It aches. I ache.

  3. Luke Skywalker - "I'm not afraid!"
    Yoda - "You will be."

    Christians are not supposed to fear, true, but there really are monsters out there. There really are things that can shake the strongest faith, and break the most dauntless courage.

    And God will seem far, far away.

    I think that's where faith, hope, and charity come into play. We need faith to have hope...but sometimes we need to hope for faith, to even hope that there's hope, and that somewhere out there, love still exists.

    I hope your voice comes back. I can't sing - at all - and I can't really say I can imagine what it's like to lose that without it being a presumption. But I do hope it comes back.

  4. Jennifer, I love finding the high harmonies in a song and belting them out. I'm so sorry your voice is gone. For now. I will pray for you. May God give you the strength to rely on Him and keep your thoughts on Him, and may He help you to trust Him implicitly in this season. Sending you hugs my friend. And prayers.

    1. Thank you, Jeanne.

      This is a tough one. But at least I'm not in this alone.

  5. Praying for you, Jennifer. I've experienced a loss of something I felt was essential to my well being and identity. Praying you will trust our good and loving God through this, no matter what. Hugs!

    1. Thank you , Lori. And I know you totally understand..

  6. Oh Jennifer, since your singing voice is a very important part of who you are and who you see yourself to be, this loss must be excruciating. Perhaps it will help during this time of waiting and healing to remember that God is the Great I Am. Time is not a barrier nor is it a dimension in His life and to His Being. Therefore, every small note that you sing, whether physically or in your mind, He hears you singing in your truest most beautiful Key of F voice -- as you once could. As you always will. With Love and Prayers.

    1. Yes, this is a loss, and it sure does hurt. But He IS the Great I Am, and He knows what is coming...and it WILL be to His glory.

      , Thank you, so much, Sue.

  7. Praying for you! And insist on seeing an ENT!